C'mon, Salmon, Trout Out!

ふん、あたしのことなんだと思ってるの？あの白らっちゃけたシロもの，なんですって，マス？　えっ?　ニジマス？　あんなもの，食べられると思ってんの。あたしはシャケ一点張り、ワカってるでしょ。毎日スコシづつ混ぜて騙そうたってダメダメ。安っぽいインチキは止めって頂戴。 どっか本に書いてあったの？ はい，無言の行。ダンジキもする覚悟よ。

Bah, what do you think I am? What’s that whitish flaky fish? Trout, you say? What? Rainbow trout? You think I’m going to eat the stuff? Salmon is my only dish -- you know that for sure. It’s no good mixing the two fishes bit by bit over a week. Stop the cheap trick. You read it in a book somewhere? I’m going to give you a silent treatment. I’m ready to go into fasting, too.

Well, I should have known better, of course, that cats are finicky and resists changes in diet, especially an old cat like 13-year old Qif. She has never had, aside from the supplementary dried food, anything other than Fancy Feast Savory Salmon. But one day I realized that salmon may be harmful because of the mercury content and got an idea of gradually changing her diet from salmon to white fish. Not only that, availing myself of the special sale, I bought at PetCo three cases of Trout Feast flaked. That’s seventy-two (72) 3oz cans. She gets a quarter-can twice a day. I reduced the usual portion of salmon just a little the first day and put next to it a tiny bit of trout, and increased just a pinch of trout each day. She left the trout in the dish stubbornly. So, I tried stirring the mixture well. She picked out the salmon as best as she could and ate up only ⅔ of her regular portion. After a week I gave up, and I was stuck with 69 cans of trout feast. I didn’t want to dump them. I considered donating them to her vet, finding a friend with a cat who might like trout, and selling them somehow. I out a notice on Craig’s List but a week went by without even a nibble. Finally, I took them back to PetCo with the receipt, though the purchase was three months ago, and the store willingly exchanged all of them for Savory Salmon. Back to salmon pure and unadulterated, Qif licked her dish clean. Dear me.

猫と云うのは，殊に13歳になるキフみたいな老猫は、違った食べ物は容易に受け付けない事、勿論解ってましたけどね。一生、ドライフゥドをのぞいては、鮭の缶詰だけでしたのに，ある日の事ふと，鮭に含まれている水銀が健康に害があるのではないかと気にかかり，白身のお魚に徐々に変えて行こうと云うプランを立て，丁度やっていた特売を幸いと，ニジマスの３オンスの缶を，なんと，３ケース（72缶）買い込んで来たのが，大間違い。一日二回の食事に少しずつ，最初は隣り合わせに与えたのですが，必ずニジマスは食べ残し。後に良くかき混ぜた所、出来るだけ鮭だけをつまみ食いして，白身は食べ残し。とうとう根負け。所が手元に残った69缶の始末に困惑，どこかにキフするか，ニジマスの好きな猫を飼っている知人を捜すか，売りに出すか。クレイグスリストに広告しても反応なくて当惑。漸く思いついて買ったお店に持って行きましたら，幸い鮭の缶と引き換えてくれました。 又元の混ぜ物なしの鮭だけにしたら、こは如何に，キフばあさん、すっかり食べて尽くし、お皿もきれいに舐めるという結果。やれやれ。