Colonoscoped

On Monday, 7 March, I had my colonoscopy. It is considered essential that we all have colonoscopy when we reach 50 for assuring an early detection of colon cancer. At 50 I was in good health, still in the midst of my teaching career, and it required no effort to ignore the good counsel. It was not until I reached 65 that I started to wonder if it might not be a good idea to have it done, in part observing a few acquaintances succumbing to cancer. Finally, in April 2009, I asked my doctor for a referral for colonoscopy but two years had passed and I still had not made an appointment. Last Wednesday, however, I was taken to the ER for a massive gastrointestinal hemorrhage. I received blood transfusion and then endoscopy, and colonoscopy was scheduled for Monday. I was given a fluid diet from Sunday morning, and that evening I was instructed to drink up a gallon jar of the much abhorred and justly maligned PEG (polyethylene glycol) Electrolyte solution to cleanse the colon. Mine was called GoLytely, spuriously named after Holly Golightly of Truman Capote’s Beakfast at Tiffany’s. . . so I decided in honor of my favorite Audrey Hepburn. I started imbibing the liquid, which tasted like salted sardines, while my two good friends were visiting; this made the task somewhat bearable as the situation rather pleasantly simulated drinking with friends at a pub, well, had the cup been glass rather than paper. Before finishing the gallon, my BM was clarified, and I quit. It was good that I had the preparation done in the hospital rather than at home. Next morning, I was transported to the Endoscopy Department for colonoscopy, which I quipeed “bottom endoscopy.” Thoroughly anesthetized, I was totally in the dark through the procedure. The report came promptly as I woke from the stupor -- all clear. I was certainly glad that, trapped in the hospital as I was with no escape, I got the colonoscopy out of the way after procrastinating it for 28 years. I was so euphoric that I was saying how euphorious I was.