Capitalist Farce

In this capitalist democracy, the poor is granted a full right and the rich deems to claim an equal right proportionate to the size of its wealth. Oh, what a farce. 

04/08/19

Growing Older

As a child, we yearn to grow up, delighting in earning one year, year by year, counting our age on our fingers when our birthday comes around. Growing older was exciting.  Many of us in our 20s experience trepidation as we approach 30.  Getting older becomes anathema as we get older.  Curious, isn’t it, that in old age, aging becomes innocuous, maybe even welcome.  This is my experience, anyway. Reaching 80, I started to find delight, again, earning one full year, year by year.  It is a delight in reflection rather than in anticipation, this satisfaction, looking back, of having spent a year in health and contentment, a sense of accomplishment even without any accomplishment to boast of.  At 86, I look forward to my 87th birthday.  It’s great.

04/07/19

2019: Turning Point

All these ten years, I went out every day and night, feeling that I had to see everything the city had to offer — arts, performances, and places; but that is impossible in this city of overflowing cultural places and events.  Before that, for eight years, splitting time between Swarthmore, PA, and New York City, I could see only what I could.  Having full time in the city whetted my voracious appetite limitlessly.  I wouldn’t say I now feel saturated.  But I am ready to start feeling that I don’t have to see everything, not even everything I want to see.  I am beginning to feel content seeing what I could, as before, but not by being constrained by available time or energy, but, for now, by exercising willful selectivity. At 86 I am finally a little bit wiser. 

04/06/19

2018: Year of Effort

This was the year of continuous effort.  It was the year of slow but steady recovery from the elbow injury suffered in a fall in November last year and the ensuing surgery.  I regained nearly full use of the right arm a full year later, as promised by the surgeon.  But the recovery process involved weakening of the body, owing to the weeks of reduced physical activity; and my stamina declined and the balance on my feet also got less firm.  Through the year I felt that I aged three years in this one year. Simple tasks I had been taking for granted became difficult, like reaching up to the higher shelf and stooping to pick up something on the floor, standing too long chopping and stirring when cooking, even getting down and up from the chair.  I dutifully continued the PT exercises, and the progress, though slow, was steady month by month. By August, when I walked out on the street, I was able to take broad steps and move more briskly than indolently, allegro assai, no andante. 

I saw light at the end of the tunnel by the end of the year. 

12.31.18